Friday 7 maj, 18:30
SAFF Rd 2: Årsta (Söder Rejects) Swans vs. Solna Axemen
Current Form
With the first round of footy well and truly in the history books, Solna Axemen delivered on their promises. A faster, a more skilled and a sexier outfit easily accounted for the Blues, who as predicted were still suffering from a Premiership Hangover. New recruits Cameron ”I look I’m 12 years old but I play better then most seasoned Swedes”, GazMan ”I’m so good, I’m already captain” and Adrian aka Patch, all showed why Solnas recruiting staff deserve a medal as they accounted for nearly half of the Axemens scores.
Årsta Swans on the other hand led the Vikings all day, only to realise that they aren’t really that fit and then lost the game by 9 points. Those 20 minute quarters sure got to the Rejects.
When asked about his prediction, Coach Dad replied ”Look, you know, we haven’t beaten the Swans…. I mean eh, look, you could argue we let them win a few quarters out of charity last season and they prolly should’ve been penalised for playing too many Aussies, but I don’t hold grudges against Rejects and … eh, I’m eh, just lookin’ forward to a good hard contest against a well… not quality side, but a decent side when all their players are playing above themselves, which I don’t think will happen”.
Spokesperson ”I’m a fan of everything on FB” Damien was slightly incoherent. When asked about his sides lost in Round 1 he looked at the sky and mumbled ”Beer?”. When asked if the Swans have the legs to run out four 20 minute quarters or tough enough to outmuscle the sexy Solna outfit he looked even more confused (while updating his FB status) and responsed with a ”Ehhh…. More beer?”
Solna’s president Zilla tried to comment, but was too busy watching Bang Bus at home.
Prediction:
Not even with history on their side, and the fact that Solna has had enermous difficulty in matching Årsta for some unknown reason, this unbiased reporter cannot see the Swans beat Solna on Friday night. This will be another away win for Solna, who should get up by 32 points.
//Marty “stor i orden liten på jorden” Broby
How to win friends and influence people - The Martin Brody way.
Who is this BRODY fella you’re talking about? Look, and I’m just trying to be as objective and non-influential and unbiased as I possibly can be in my evidence based predicitons.
As if the opposition doesn’t need anymore motivation to beat us.
Are you actually going to turn up and play this time?
Whats that, ya only predicting a 32 point win?? Surely ya got at least 69 in ya with all that sexiness ooozing from the midfield to the forward line
Haha martin is so funny. And everything he says is truth.
Can i get a AMEN.
I came onto this sight looking to express an interest in playing australian football. After reading this article and noticing the poor sportsmanship, i will no longer be doing so. Your inability to win matches against a side, who by your accounts, played too many aussies and shouldve been penalised, should lie soley with yourselves and not the opposition. I was brought up playing sports against bigger and older guys, and I had to win regardless of the opposition in front of me.I can see most of the article is meant as a joke, but I truly hope the poor sportsmanship opinion expressed in this article is not that of the competition or australian football in general.
Dear “a player lost”!
Our sincerest apologies for any mental anguish caused by our article. As Vice President of the SAFC, I would like to refer you to our feedack/complaints department at suckmyballs@asswipe.net.
Alternatively contact any of the other loser clubs who will probably gladly have you on their team
and you can masturbate in a dark smelly room together.
Sincerely
VPMB
hahaha…!!!
we want more marty stuff, even when i am allways watching porn in martys articles…hehe
” sports against bigger and older guys, and I had to win regardless of the opposition in front of me” haha then you can’t play for solna anyway coz we are by far the biggest and oldest team…further can i recommend you to join the fellowers of the drunking hobbit, great team great atmosphere and you can directly play against us and show us your so called “sportsmanship”
maybe u should focus on dancing instead…or mini golf maybe?
So with such an enthusiastic promotion of this game - what was the result?
Did you guys from Solna manage to break your loosing run against Årsta?
Duck hunting season mate! We slaughtered the Swans, the game was over by the 1st qtr when we lead by 60 points. We won by 100 points ( I shit you not), and history is in the books.
As predicted alltså!
VPMB
Must have been tough for Årsta - what do you attribute your success too?
You could explain our thrashing through class, skill, experience teamwork or Årstas lack there of, however, we all know it comes to down to our sexiness oozing all over that footy field. It’s unstoppable, unmatchable, and unplayable against! We rule SAFF!
Interested observer: Welcome to our trainings to see for yourself. The results on the field can only be realised through all the hard work and commitment off the field.
I assume that interested observer is located in Australia or NOrway…
They better get moving then… training starts in a few hours.
In Stockholm.
Will there be a match report posted for this game?
I put the win down to the fact the drunkhobbit was benched thru injury
Still no match report about your 100 point win? When is your next game?
is it too hard to update the footy record scores and data with your info??? seeing you enjoy boasting about your wins.
It is quite hard to update scores when noone has access to thefootyrecord to add new players and the results of matches. Sure, we can update goal scorers and do small things like add pre-existing players to the game cards, but nothing else. Maybe the person who has the authority to do so needs to be contacted, not individual clubs with limited access
It’s good to see all the comments - in the true spirit of the game.